How to Attract the Right Person on Dating Apps
Dating apps can feel like a chaotic scroll-fest—endless profiles, random messages, and connections that fizzle before they spark. But what if you could cut through the noise and attract someone who actually gets you? Someone who shares your values, goals, and energy?
Finding the right person on dating apps isn’t about being the most attractive or clever. It’s about clarity, alignment, and how you show up digitally. When you position yourself with authenticity and intention, you naturally filter out mismatches—and pull in the people meant for you.
This guide breaks down the actionable steps you can take today to attract not just more matches, but the right ones.
Table of Contents
- Why Most People Struggle to Attract the Right Match
- Clarify What You’re Actually Looking For
- Build a Profile That Reflects You (Not What You Think People Want)
- Choose the Right Photos: Authentic > Perfect
- Write a Bio That Filters (Not Just Attracts)
- Use Prompts and Questions to Spark Alignment
- Message With Purpose (Not Just Pickup Lines)
- Spotting Red Flags Early On
- How to Stay Grounded in the Swiping Game
- Final Thoughts: The Right Match Starts With You
- FAQs
Why Most People Struggle to Attract the Right Match
It’s not that dating apps are broken—it’s that we often:
- Present a version of ourselves we think people want
- Swipe out of boredom, not curiosity
- Prioritize validation over connection
According to a Pew Research Center study, nearly half of dating app users feel frustrated, not because dating apps don’t work—but because they’re overwhelmed by options and underwhelmed by real connections.
Clarify What You’re Actually Looking For
Before you even touch your profile, get honest:
- Do you want a serious relationship, casual dates, or something in between?
- What values matter most in a partner—humor, honesty, ambition?
- What are your deal-breakers?
When you’re clear, your energy, responses, and profile language reflect that—and your matches will too.
Build a Profile That Reflects You (Not What You Think People Want)
The biggest mistake people make? Performing.
You’re not trying to win the crowd—you’re trying to attract your person.
Instead of generic lines like “I love adventure and good vibes,” say:
“Sucker for long bookstore dates, early morning runs, and podcasts that make me rethink everything.”
That specificity attracts people who vibe with your rhythm.
Choose the Right Photos: Authentic > Perfect
No, you don’t need to look like a model—but you do need to look like yourself.
Here’s what to include:
- 1 clear face pic (natural light, eyes visible)
- 1 full body pic (avoid mirror selfies if possible)
- 1 candid doing something you love
- 1 social photo (you with friends or doing something engaging)
Avoid filters, heavy edits, or hiding your face behind sunglasses in every image. According to Psychology Today, trust begins visually.
Write a Bio That Filters (Not Just Attracts)
Your bio isn’t just to draw people in—it’s to gently repel the wrong ones too.
Use it to:
- Share your values and lifestyle
- Set expectations (e.g., “Looking for something meaningful—not here for games”)
- Highlight quirks (the right people will love them)
Example:
“Coffee snob, recovering overthinker, always down for a trivia night. Let’s skip small talk and talk about what lights you up.”
That’s a filter—and a magnet.
Use Prompts and Questions to Spark Alignment
Many apps let you answer prompts—use them wisely.
Instead of:
“My ideal weekend: Netflix and naps.”
Try:
“My ideal weekend: Farmer’s market run, trail hike, then trying to cook something way above my skill level.”
It paints a picture. It tells a story. And it invites someone who enjoys the same kind of day.
Message With Purpose (Not Just Pickup Lines)
The first message matters. Instead of complimenting looks or using a dry “Hey,” reference something from their profile.
Example:
“You mentioned being into 90s hip hop. What’s your all-time favorite track?”
It shows attention, effort, and shared interest—which makes you stand out in a sea of copy-paste openers.
The Harvard Business Review highlights how asking meaningful questions can make people like and trust you faster—especially online.
Spotting Red Flags Early On
You’re not just trying to attract the right person—you’re trying to filter out the wrong ones too.
Watch for:
- Vague profiles with no personal info
- Avoiding questions or deep topics
- Hot-and-cold texting patterns
- Talking only about appearance or sex early on
Your time is valuable. The more quickly you identify misalignment, the faster you’ll make space for real potential.
How to Stay Grounded in the Swiping Game
Dating apps can mess with your self-worth if you’re not careful.
Here’s how to stay sane:
- Take breaks: Constant swiping can numb your standards
- Don’t chase every match: Focus on those who engage with depth
- Celebrate alignment, not volume: 1 genuine connection > 50 empty chats
And don’t be afraid to unmatch someone who drains your energy. Protect your peace.
Final Thoughts: The Right Match Starts With You
Attracting the right person online isn’t about changing yourself—it’s about revealing yourself. The more clearly and confidently you express who you are and what you want, the more naturally the right people will find you.
You don’t need to game the algorithm. You just need to show up honestly—and trust that your energy will attract your people.
Because love isn’t just about finding someone. It’s about being found—by the right one.
FAQs
Q: How many photos should I include on my dating profile?
A: At least 4–5: a clear face pic, full body, one candid or hobby pic, and one social image.
Q: Is it okay to mention deal-breakers in my bio?
A: Yes, in a respectful tone. It sets clear expectations and saves time for both people.
Q: Should I swipe on everyone to increase my matches?
A: No. Swipe intentionally—quality connections come from clarity, not quantity.
Q: How long should I chat before meeting in person?
A: When there’s mutual interest and comfort. Typically within 3–7 days of matching to maintain momentum.
Q: What if I’m not getting many matches at all?
A: Revisit your photos and bio. Ask a friend for feedback, or A/B test different styles. Sometimes small tweaks make a big difference.
We write rarely, but only the best content.
